Advice for Horse Moms for Mother’s Day (and how that is similar to being a Mom to kids!)
Sometimes, the best love is really holding a safe space for your horse and your child to thrive.
- Listen to your horse. As with a child, the best approach is to understand what they are telling you. They cannot always communicate with words. If your horse comes to greet you and loves your touch, walk towards them, ask them for one step back, and then love on them. If your horse is nervous, and looking at the horizon and a cow moving, give them an aid to turn towards you and step that inside hind leg over. Really listening to your horse and understanding what they are thinking will help you communicate with them.
- Reward the slightest try. As you listen, notice the slightest try. Harvey, for example, is not too sure about this new place, and having a blanket put on when he is loose in a huge paddock. As I walk towards him with a blanket, he will startle, put his head up high, and often move away. I wait for him to relax, breathe a little, and then I walk towards him again. There is a moment where he is ok and trusting for me to approach. It is the slightest try that I am looking for.
- Don’t spoil them. Giving your horse treats, letting them step towards you, and smell your pocket, will encourage them to step towards you at any time. While this seems like a loving thing to do, your horse is actually stepping into you for security and the treat. If a big plastic bag blows by in the wind, they will naturally turn towards the bag and move towards you. Not safe. It is much better for them to think about you and to respect your space bubble than to let them have free rein.
- Set boundaries. Your horse is looking for direction on what is safe and what is not safe. I am amazed that working on ground tying or just having my horse stand still, while I talk to someone or work on something, like repairing a fence, makes my horse more confident. I will hold the lead rope, and if they move, I will put them back in their place. I tack up all my horses holding the lead rope, and while it took some time, they now feel very safe and will stand for me. We often think that setting boundaries is mean, but it actually will make your horse or your child feel safer.
- Love on them. Yes. Absolutely, walk into your horse on your terms and pet them. Actually the best way to love on your horse is to scratch their withers. Scratch hard for 10 min. This is close to what their mother did for them. There are studies that show it will decrease their heart rate and make them relax. My mare, Zafenia, is all mare. She really doesn’t want any physical contact from me, but I have taught her to really enjoy having her withers scratched, and sometimes that is the only way to catch her.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Love,
JoElyn, Amelia’s mother
PS- Happy Mothering Day! I wish I could rename the holiday to recognize all of us working on our different relationships.
